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[05 Jun 2005|10:15am] Wow i havent written in here forever...i have a new journal and love it over there...but i also miss the friends that ive made over here...so ill update you all a little on my life...Well whats good...ive been home for a minute now and im loving it...i actually have my first job at bath and body works!! which is awesome....never thought i would have a job, but i have one and im loving it :)...ill be going to ATL in a week and half with my best friend Lem!! and im really excited about that....my sis won class president again! life is just great right now! but i gotta go study for psych and span test tommoro...summer school is the only thing that sux major ass....ill leave with sum pics 3 comments|post comment

[26 Feb 2005|07:42pm] So yea life is getting better... I was accepted to University of Maryland College PArk as a transfer!!! yay me!! ill be leaving Miami*drama zone* mmm now i have to find a way to get into those apartments thingys that are apart of maryland but not really...cuz i absolutely NEED to be in a place where i can make my own food and where i can have my own room...sharing doesnt cut it for me! if anyone knows, will i be able to get one in the commons or the university park apartments??? but yea i love it there! and cant wait to go....boyfriend comes back down in 2 weeks, and ill probably be going back the weekend after then the week after that for spring break...hitting up NY...gonna be fun times... anyways i dont update on here anymore because im not really on Livejournal, i write somewhere else but i only left my account open to visit the UMD community....anyways i hope all is going well with you all...you all are such sweet individuals. 11 comments|post comment

what a night [10 Feb 2005|02:04am] Tonight was not a good night... Why do I have so many problems at this damn school...i just want to leave oh god.. Guys keep me in your prayers... I fought a chick and now im being charged with battery... I have to go to the FIU judiciary thing and from there we will see whos at fault... i hate being looked at as ghetto,cuz im far from it and im a lady of class... but... on a last note dont friend people who seem way to eagar to want to know you..they either turn out to be psycho or get mad easily for the littlest things. Ill tell you later about this chic, you'll see exactly how crazy she is. 7 comments|post comment

[05 Feb 2005|07:38pm] 1.) Copy and paste this into your journal: <*font color="yourusername"> <*b>yourusername<*/b> <*/font> 2.) Eliminate the asterisks. 3.) Replace "yourusername" with your user name. 4.) See what colour you are. obliviusdelujin 3 comments|post comment

i got this from girlybabe15 [01 Feb 2005|03:28pm] 1. Reply with your name and I will write something about you. 2. I will then tell what song[s] remind me of you. 3. Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise. 4. Last, i will try to name a single word that best describes you. 5. Put this in your journal. Current Music: Prettie Ricki-Grind on Me ***************************************************************************** Life doesnt get better then this...boyfriend comes in on Saturday and will be leaving Monday afternoon...muah i love him so much....pictures will be up...and i got a cute digi cam...its sooooooooo small and cute and i love it!! im in such a good mood...and ive lost 5lbs..yay me...and i got a compliment on it from someone on the facebook who goes to school here with me...yay you!...umm whatelse i really need to work on my studying habits though...ive been slacking...less gym and more studying....today after classes ill be in the library till like 10:30-11:0pm...i gotta catch up on my reading for microbio and bio II as well as for my algebra class.:( hope all is well with you all! im going to comment soon. i promise you all! luv you 8 comments|post comment

[27 Jan 2005|11:36pm] I hate my life right now...and i dont want to be a part of it... i hate everything that consist of it... all ive been doing is crying I dont know how much i can handle anymore...i thought i could but i cant i hate it here... maybe i just want out.... out of life... out of breathng... out of being on hell... <3 10 comments|post comment

[26 Jan 2005|03:15am] i hate arguing and i hate how things have been going.......:( dont forget about me. 1 comment|post comment

[24 Jan 2005|03:14am] Today is my the official start to losing those 25lbs :)..... i will consume... a ceasar salad with chicken breast and ranch dressing side portion of steamed brocollie and will consume 8 glasses of water today After classes i will spend 1.5hrs at the gym....on the stair master, elliptical and treadmill=) wish me luck =) 4 comments|post comment

[23 Jan 2005|12:11am] ok my diet starts Monday.... i need to make a shopping list of grocery's.... suggestions? 2 comments|post comment

Friendship [22 Jan 2005|01:56am] I dont know what made me think of writing this but i just feel like writing what is on my mind right now...the topic at hand is friendships ... Not just any friendships but the ones that we call our bestfriends, the people close enough to be blood..i talk about this, because i realize that many people through out there lives are looking for that friend...that person they can talk to and share their inner thoughts with...that person that will not backstab you or be quick to run away from the bad times... I believe that not just anyone can say they are a bestfriend, many people are quick to say ..."oh yea thats my bestfriend, but we only met a month ago"..and i really dont get it. From my personal experiences i have only had 4 TRUE bestfriends, and that was when i was growing up..those were my friends from childhood..and even though there was tough times and times when our friendships were on the rocks, we stuck by each other. I remember doing all kinds of things{good and bad=)} 1st time sneaking out, 1st time throwing parties, talking about our 1st kisses and experiences, naming ourselves after a power puff chic...i was blossom:)...then we started to grow up..and we experimented with alcohol(blacking out), skinning dipping in my pool, telling our inner secrets and sexual urges, as well as maturing with one another...those are the times in my life that i cherish the most...those are the times that i always find myself thinking about, and wanting to go back...after my 9th grade year...i moved to a completely different continent, and i was ocean aways from what i believe to be my true life...i would cry myself to sleep..hating my parents, hating myself and the way life could just make such a turn...it was hard for me to start all over again...to make new friend, to lead a new life...having a completely different lifestyle, with completely different people who could not relate to my world and my way of life...today i still suffer from that but it doesnt bother me as much... From 10th grade to the end of my 12th grade, i became "bestfriends" with 2 girls...2 girls who were comletely different and unique in there own way but didnt fulfill my desire as a bestfriend. I was always looked as an outsider...i was "too white", "too proper"..."too boujie(basically acting white in that context)"...but they still hung out with me...i was surrounded with people who i considered my friends because they were the first people to take me in, the first people to want to friend me...but those were also the same people that would go behind your back and talk shit about you to one another...it was fake and everything about it was fake. Some people just despised me even before they knew me..the first year was terrible...with self esteem issues and a feeling of being lost...i couldnt confine in anyone because they wouldnt understand....there just seemed to be know one in this place that i was that could fully understand and be completely genuine about it... I watched others who had a "bestfriend" be so happy and so excited to be around each other...who seemed so compatible..and the whole time i was here with people who i loved dearly but felt no real connections with...i felt as though i was being the fakest of the crowd...occasionaly givin in and trying to not pronounce my ER's and even speaking some slang. From 10th to 12th grade i was also in a relationship with someone who i thought i loved and would be there for me, and for once would not pass judgement on me and be very real...He was and then it stopped...he stopped caring and he stopped being there..the rumors start to come and it was one after another..."he cheated on you"..."he dont love you"..."why are you with him? are you pressed"..it was terrible, but it was even terrible because i allowed it to go on for so long...i allowed myself to go through pain, because in a way i felt that i could beat the odds...that i could better this person, and make him see that i was all that he wanted...that he didnt need anything or anyone else...and no matter what we would always be together. i cried myself to sleep many times...and lied to my mom and family telling them how perfect and happy our relationship was...when in fact i was suffering so much inside...not only because of him but ever since feeling that i had no true identity and no true purpose...as though my life was just that...a life that begins and then eventually ends. In the middle of my senior year i eventually called it quits with him...even though deep inside i was an emotional mess...but in a way i tried to shield that...i didnt allow anyone to see that, because everyone already was thinking that....i told myself i would not allow myself into a relationship like that again...i would not allow things to go sour like they were..i am too young and beautiful to let things like that get me down...however that completely changed when i met Stephen...from the start i didnt want a relationship...i was looking for someone to comfort me..someone i could toy with and move on from...but i really liked him and he was different...we shared so many similarities and i LOVED that so much..because for the first time i felt as though i had met someone who i could relate to and who would be completely real with me...and he was, and like they said the rest of history...but while i sit here writing things that pop to my mind, i must confess that to this day i still get worried...i still get a kick from the low self esteem area...i still cry because i feel im not good enough...i throw fits and want to induce self injury on myself because i feel as though i deserve it...and then there are the days when i feel lost once again..as though life is just a beginning and end.... To this day i will not say i have a bestfriend...i havent found that bestfriend yet and i dont know if i ever will...i envy those who have and sometimes i dont feel they know how lucky they are to have someone you cant honestly say "you would die for"...the only person who i can honestly say this about is my younger sister...because i love her to pieces and i know no matter what she will always be there for me...and i love her for that. 4 comments|post comment

[21 Jan 2005|10:20pm] someone motivate me to read for microbio =( 2 comments|post comment

[21 Jan 2005|04:33pm] To all my LJ friends who have "thefacebook"...let me know so i can add you =) anyways ive been going to the gym and still havet lost....ive came up with a gain plan till i lose 20-30lbs... 1. No Bread 2. No Pasta 3. No Juice 4. No Soda 5. No Coffee ( decaf only if you must with splenda sugar and cream. Limit 1 a day) 6. No Milk 7. No Rice 8. No Starches ( potatos, plantains, carrots, sweet potatoes) What you can have: All the water you want All the meat you want (any kind) All the cheese you want All the salad and vegetables you want ( excluding tomatoes and carrots) All the butter and oil you want All the crystal light you want, but make sure it is sugar free. 10 comments|post comment

[19 Jan 2005|03:24pm] Ok i must say i absolutely hate my Art History Survey I class.... i cant seem to stay up in that class....all i do is end up falling asleep like 30 min before class is over/.....its really bad =(.... anyways right now im suppose to be reading Chapt 2 for microbiology but i felt like updating and commenting in some of my friends journals. then im off to Gen Bio II and then to the gym =)..... Ok i am so mad at FIU...once again i must say that I HATE FIU WITH A PASSION!!!!!! Once again they screw my life over...they sent my transcripts to one of the wrong schools and then never even sent my second transcript...not i most likely wont be leaving this school till the end of the semester...theres still hope though....this nice Cuban lady named Rosa said she would fax them a copy of my transcript and mail the hardcopy out today....yay Rosa!...however the lady i talked to at MD said most likely my application was filed as incomplete and i would have to write to Maryland explaining my situation and asking if they could change my application to Fall 2005 =(....no sleeping in Stephens bed till fall*tears* Anyways what else...nothing! Oh yea do you all think it is possible to lose 15lbs by April 1st???*my bday =)* <3 bye bye 8 comments|post comment

[18 Jan 2005|07:33pm] Ok so i dropped my psychology class.....phew! here is my new schedule... Art History Survey I...chancy 2:00-3:15 Mon Wed General Biology II...Goldberg & Lee 5:00-6:15 Mon Wed Gen Bio Lab...Tue 6:25-9:05 College Algebra...5:00-6:15 Tues Thur Intro Microbiology...Makemson 9:30-10:45 Mon Wed Into Microbio Lab...12:30-3:15 Thurs I just got back from the bookstore and i got my Microbio book...im going to try to read it while at the gym...=( bye bye... <3 3 comments|post comment

[18 Jan 2005|03:24pm] I am already so tired of this semester... i need to start going to bed during the week by 12:00 because i feel so drained out the rest of the day when i dont...=( Uhh what else a checklist of things i need to do by Sunday... ~read chapt 1&2 in psychology book ~read chapt 1,2,3,4 of Microbiology book next week... ~study for psychology exam on chapt 1&2...Read Chapt 11 ~Read Chapt 5&6 in microbiology and start revision of chapt 1,2,3,4 week after... ~ Read chapt 7&8 in microbiology and start revision of chapt 5,6,7,8 ~ Read chapt 7&9 fr psychology ~ Study then.... ~ Read Chapt 9...microbiology revision of chapt 1-9 ~ Study chapters 7,9, and 11 for psychology 6 comments|post comment

[13 Jan 2005|07:06pm] im bored.... so i posted the pics i used for one of those communities...lol... ill be sure to take more pics of other people lol ( moi ) 8 comments|post comment

[12 Jan 2005|01:23pm] ahhhh!!! im so tired and its only been the third day of class...i didnt go to bed till 4:30 this morning, doing some microbio homework...anyways the professor doesnt seem to bad, i guess ill have to wait for the first test i tried over riding for gen chem...he told me if there was a spot open in one of the labs i would be able to join the class...so i gotta do that...however im being lazy and havent done it yet...im still thinking if i should take moth chem I and microbio this semester...we will see....anyways got my art history class in 20 minutes...so im going to go get ready...took some RANDOM PICS TODAY...do i look drained out..lol...i feel that way.:) ( moi ) 8 comments|post comment

[11 Jan 2005|06:26pm] Alright i know i have not updated in succcccccch a long time now...its been due to the fact that i had to reregister my computer on the system....and 1. I was lazy the first two days 2. For some reason my solix username was not on the system.. However i managed to register and should be able to access the internet from my dorm...right now i am in the library...i just came in from my College Algebra class...anyways i got this from one of my friends on livejournal and thought i would do the same.... Introductory to Microbiology Ok well this was my first class for the semester...and guess what we had a substitute so theres not much to say..except all the students in there looked extra extra smart...anyways my room mate and i took the class together so everything should hopefully workout...so far so good, except that the class seems for challenging...from my understanding there was only A,B,C or F...and that usually 50 students get f's in that class<----how scurry is that...anyways i have HW which i neeeed to do today cuz its due tommorow...and soon as im done posting in here im off to start on that as well as my algebra hw... Western Art History I Ok well the teacher seems very sweet and caring, as though she wants everyone to do well in the class and actually learn something...i liked her alot...i also think that was the class i was most into. Theres about 75 people in the class and i dont know what else to say except that it seems like it is going to be real interesting.. Introduction to Psychology The teacher seeems awesome, she is funny but not like diehard funny like some students made her to seem like...the class is filled...she went around the whole class(150+ students) and tell our names, major, and reason for being in the class.. i actually thought that was quite cool since ALOT of professors dont do that, it reminded me of my high school days lol...w then had our first lecture which was basically an overview of the different methods of psychoology and there founders as welll as there time periods...we are to read chapt 1 & 2 for next class...which is 2 weeks away.,..how awesome is that :) Anyways the class seems to be a challenging but easy class at the same time, we'll see....hopefully my AP psych class i took will help me in there ;P Aerobic Fitness not much to say College Algebra Ok well the professor seems way cooler and better then my last college algebra teacher who was a wench...he goes over the problems fast but i remembered alot from last semester, so i actually like it (atleast for now). We went over two sections today and he gave us about 23 problems to do for hw...which isnt bad, i dont know why everyone was complaining...it really wasnt that serious...i actually liked that because then its basically a set review of what we did that day..even though they arent graded, i will do ALL of it...my goal this semester is straight A's,A-...preferably that 4.0!!!! Anyways ill write later, gtg do some hw and stuff, before i hit up the gym at 8. 5 comments|post comment

[09 Jan 2005|02:17am] Im going to miss him.... ( we look terrible, but its all i have for a while :( ) BgStv147: I miss you too Auto response from ToLv2H82Nv: i miss you so much and i havent even left....... <3SB 5 comments|post comment

[08 Jan 2005|01:51am] Ok so today i woke up around 12:30 from Stephen constantly ringing the doorbell...ahhhh! anyways he came and i told him to come back in 20 minutes so i could get ready and such...but i couldnt help it but just go right back to sleep and pop in The OC dvd...i was so lazy! anyways he came back an hour later(he called and was upset i was being bummy..lol) and dragged me out...i just brushed my hair down, put on my pea coat and was out...he had some chipotle but i wasnt hungrey...afterwards we went to the mall..where we got some candles for our moms at Yankee Candles....i got my mom the key lime pie candle...which smells SOOOOOOOOOOO good. With a candle topper which is so pretty with 3 different spray frangrances for the house(peppermint, island mango, and french vanilla)....Afterwards i came home, since Stephen had to go to work and just chilled out......5 hrs later, Stephen picked me up, we went to Mcdonalds...and dude there was this guy who was so wierd.... he was like "mmmm you look different, you did something different to your hair" i giggled and was like "yea"... "oh it looks reaaaaaaaaalllllllll good, i see you got your nails done, hair done, looking all cute" i was like giggle "yea" I was just like what is this dude talking about...my nails definately need a fill in its been 2 weeks, my hair i just wore down even though i had not even straightened it or anything, and i was in some ugly jeans with a coat.... Anyways he gave my bf his cup then like was giving me mine, but like when i reached for it and held it...looked at me and like smirked... ---giggle--- When we went to fill our drinks i was like Stephen dont u care, and he was like i dont care anymore when guys do that because i know they find my gf hot... anyways so we get our food and this guy is like "Aye man let me tell you something..." Stephen: "Yea What" "Dont lose her, cuz you know i will always be single and looking to mingle" <--eww who says that. Stephen: "oh i wont"... Thinkin thats the end of it, we go all the way to the other side ...but no this guy comes over...and is like "man i hate working here, they treat me like a bitch, its cuz im black huh?" Why the fuck would i care, im thinking....giggle This guy was a trip...it was so pathetic...the thing that is so sad is that i had gone to that mcdonalds like a week ago with stephen but he still remembered me. not to put fast food workers down..but that guy was just not on my level... and he even had the nerve to tell me "When things dont work out with your man, be sure to come by you sexy yellow thing"....ewww anyways we ended up going back to my house...just sitting outside and talking about the future...of course after i was acting silly. Anyways we were talking about the future... when Stephen has to eventually transfer schools for his advertising major... and what we are going to do. I dont want us to be in completely different states.. cuz i know i will either be in Maryland or DC for school, and he was thinking of schools in California...but he said he would look at schools closer like in Va and stuff to put less tension on our relationship..... However i know after undergrad we are either moving to NY or Ca to live...i plan on going to med school in one of the 2...and he plans on working in a major metropolitan city like NY,NY or LA,Ca...he was thinking Miami, but i told him i dont know if i want to live there... Anyways bye bye 11 comments|post comment

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